How a $10k poker win changed how I think'

 How I changed my thinking after a $10k poker win

Philipp Kiefel, my coach in poker, asked me again to sign up for an online tournament. It offered a $10,000 first prize (PS7,000/EUR8,250) and it was a great opportunity to practice. I'm not a professional player but a science writer. After taking up the game as an interest, I started to seriously study it to find out how to improve my critical thinking.

However, I was at school collecting my daughter, so I wasn't able to access my laptop.

I replied, "Picking up Ava."

I felt guilty but had no desire to play that day.

He said, "You have 26 minutes before late registration closes."

"Will it," I gave up.

Ava and her friend, Ava, decided to take a taxi home as walking home was not an option. We arrived home in just a few minutes. I was playing with strangers online while she went to her room.

I defeated 1,666 players on that day and won the tournament to take home the $10,000 prize.

My surprise victory was just the start. Over the next few months, I would be matched against a controversial poker player I had never seen, known for his outrageous Instagram lifestyle and sexist comments about women. I would have 15 minutes fame in poker media, and then be drawn into the larger issue about sexism. I would be trained by some of the best poker coaches in the world - people who are my idols and have earned millions of dollars with their skills. They would then become my friends. I learned a lot about myself and the game. I was able to change my perspective and see the world differently. All of this began on a December afternoon at my kitchen table.

Over the last few years, I have been researching a book on the mental advantages of playing poker. I realized I had to write about my own experiences to show that I can play and win. But I'm just an amateur player. I enjoy playing the game like people love running or yoga. I decided to hire a coach (Kiefel), a German online poker pro.

His online tournament, which he encouraged me to participate in, was known as a "freeroll" and that was the reason I hesitated to sign up. There is no entry fee for a freeroll. This means that players are more likely to underestimate their chips and play recklessly, thereby wasting their money. They display human psychology in action. If you give something away, they will be less likely to value it than if they have paid for it. I did not want to waste time in what I thought would be a game. Kiefel had a different perspective. Kiefel stated that it was good to play with people who are less invested. They were crushed by me.

I called him after ten seconds and four high pitched OhMyGods. The smile was all over his words: "See how it feels to play rested and focused?" He had every right to celebrate. This win was equally his as it was mine. He didn't give up on me despite the fact that I kept violating his principal rule, which is to not play when stressed or tired. I was just like any other working parent during the Covid-19 epidemic.

The tournament ended in less than three hours and was completed just in time to read bedtime stories. That night's story was "How Mommy Won", and it ended with us both jumping up on the beds and she receiving the Ninjago Lego Set she had been wanting. We both went to bed tonight happy, or so I believed.

It is advised that we should not check our email before going to sleep, but I did. GGPoker, the online tournament organizer, sent me an email later that night. It said, "What an incredible accomplishment, beating such a large field of players!" They would get in touch to set up the "heads-up" match with Dan Bilzerian. Wait, what? Who? Which heads-up match? When? Kiefel was equally baffled. The only thing we knew was that a heads up game can be much more complicated. These are often aggressive duels played one-on-one and involve high stakes.

I didn’t have to wait too long for the answers. They bombarded me with tweets. Vanessa Kade, an online female poker pro, posted a particularly striking post. It was hilarious and perfect that a woman (me), won the tournament to meet Bilzerian. This is despite his comments on social media regarding female poker players. In 2017, he sent Cate Hall, a now-deleted Tweet, that "I want to place a bet against you" because he is a woman who can't play poker.

Another tweet, this time from a US-based coach in poker, addressed me directly:

"..sincere congrats and NOT a dig at yourself personally in any manner. I hope that you can make the most of this opportunity to promote respect, dignity, and inclusion for women in poker.

Was that really what I did? And Dan Bilzerian, who was that?

After all these years of reading about poker and playing, I hadn't heard of his name. Just days before the tournament, he was made an ambassador for GGPoker. I didn't know about the controversy surrounding his appointment. He and Kade had had an online argument. Kade had tweeted: "The idea that this man is being validated in poker as the face and poker really sucks." Bilzerian, supported by his tens or millions of followers, replied: "Quiet, nobody knows who your are." A contentious narrative ensued, bolstered by the power of his tens and millions of followers. Bilzerian responded: "Quiet Hoe, nobody knows where you are." In fact, it would be difficult to find poker content by looking through his Instagram account. The only thing you'll see is a display combining guns and girls. One shot shows him naked-chested, in a red car with red shorts and Santa's cape. He is surrounded by seven women wearing boudoir lingerie. The next picture shows him with military-style weapons and another showing him playing chess, with large wads of money on either side. However, it is his words that have been most controversial. He tweeted "Women can be like dogshit. The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up." In 2017, he wrote on Twitter, "It's national Women's Day. Thank God, they're so good for so much!" He also posted an image of himself in a hot bathtub with four barely-clad women, and a fifth naked woman bent over as he ate his meal from her back. The UK tabloids picked up the story. (Bilzerian refused to respond to BBC Future’s requests for comment regarding the views expressed on his social media posts and subsequent criticisms.

The news that Bilzerian would be facing a woman soon spread like wildfire. PokerNews.com profiled me shortly after my freeroll tournament win. But I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted.

Another problem I had was my inability to play heads-up. It's completely different. You can't hide in heads-up play. You can either fold and lose or try to win. You can be more selective in multi-player games. But, in head-up you have to play all kinds of hands - even the ones you wouldn't normally discard. It will be difficult if you aren't aggressive. You will need to be more knowledgeable about the game and its subtleties.

I worried about my incompetence, but the internet chatter continued and my expectations grew. One person suggested that the money be returned. It was like being a prisoner. Online Poker Is Still a Good Opportunity for Serious Players